Life As We Know It

Well, life as we know it is officially changing.  As most of you already know, Joe and I found out that we were expecting a baby back in late January.  I feel guilty for not updating sooner, but I was so sick I didn't think I'd survive (literally) until about 2 weeks ago.  So I am just now getting back around to updating the blog.

So here's how the story goes...Joe and I had been trying to have a baby for a very long time.  I am ashamed to admit that I was to a point where I felt jealous if someone else got pregnant instead of me.  One Monday night when Joe's brother, Jake, was in town we went out to eat Japanese.  At dinner, I told Joe that I felt weird and that I thought I might be pregnant.  It was really too soon to know for sure, but I just had a feeling so we went to Walmart and picked up some tests.  When we got home I took the test and laid it on the bathroom counter.  Joe was standing there waiting for the result and I had looked away for a minute when he said, "Uh oh." I looked over at the test and it said PREGNANT!  I of course started crying.  We were both so excited that we barely waited a week to tell family and friends because we were just dying for everyone to know.  We went out to dinner with our family the following Saturday and pulled out this canvas painting I made (see below).  We all cried and other people in the restaurant congratulated us.  When we made it "Facebook official" we took this picture and posted it for everyone to see.

A couple of weeks later we had our first ultrasound at 6 weeks.  The baby just looked like a little gummy bear, but we could see the flicker of the little heart beating and when we heard it for first time, I was so overwhelmed at that tiny little sound that I (of course) cried my eyes out.  

The sickness started around the same time as the ultrasound.  At first it was just a little nausea, but it very quickly escalated to a level of sickness I have never experienced.  I was so miserable and exhausted that I basically slept, ate crackers, and hung out by the toilet all day every day until I was about 10 weeks.  We had another ultrasound around 9 weeks since we had such a hard time getting pregnant.  The little peanut had this tiny little flipper looking arms and legs that moved all over the place while we were having the ultrasound.

The next week I was released from the specialist and got to go to my regular OB for the first time.  He was gracious enough to give us another ultrasound (at 10 weeks) because I just needed to see the baby one more time before he made me wait another 6 weeks to see it.  This time those tiny flipper arms and legs were distinct, LONG arms and legs with elbows and knees.  I just cannot believe how quickly the baby is developing.  You can see one of the arms bent up toward the face in the ultrasound.  I love how you can see where it's little mouth will be and how it is turning into a tiny person as we speak.

 At 12 weeks we had the nuchal fold screening to test for Downs Syndrome and Trisomy 18 (not sure about the spelling on that one).  Everything came back perfectly fine!  I feel so thankful that our baby is healthy so far and that we are well on our way to bringing home our little angel.  We will have our gender scan on April 25th and the full body scan about a month after that to make sure that the brain, lungs, etc. are forming like they are supposed to.  I cannot wait to know what we are having!  I am very openly hoping for a little girl, but I already love this baby so much that the doctor could tell me its a puppy and I would still be overjoyed!

It is hard to believe that tomorrow I will be out of the first trimester, and that we are already talking about appointments for when I'll be halfway through.  I cannot wait for October so we can bring home our sweet baby & start this new part of our lives.  I will TRY to keep this updated more regularly now that I'm feeling a little better.  Before I go, I want to say congratulations to THREE of my other friends who are also expecting babies in October.  Summer, Kelly, and one who wants to remain nameless for now :) I am so thrilled for y'all and cannot wait for play dates with our babies!

Realizations

Well, once again I start a blog completely and utterly overwhelmed by our amazing God.  I knew that I wanted to work with students my entire life.  I always had the idea that I would be a teacher and over the past three years it has been confirmed time and again that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing with my life.  I have had some of the greatest days of my life in my classroom and my students (for the most part) bring me so much joy.  However, nothing has ever compared to what I experienced last night at Uprising.

Let me backtrack a little and say that Uprising is the student ministry for teenagers at my church.  I started volunteering with this group over the summer when I started feeling God calling me to work with students in the church.  I felt like he was providing the opportunity to bridge the gap between my relationship with God and my relationship with students.  It is no secret that teachers in public schools have to walk a fine line when it comes to sharing their faith in the classroom.  While I make my faith known to my students, I have to make sure that I am not "preaching" at the students.  I have always felt like something was missing for me at work and Uprising was just what I needed to fill that void.

Anyway, last night at Uprising me had spontaneous baptisms.  This is something my pastor has done several times in Sunday morning service, but we had never done it before in the youth service at night.  During this time anyone who has not followed through in baptism is invited to come forward and be baptized right then and there.  We provide clothes, make up, etc. so that there are no excuses for why you can't go through with it.  Baptism is the first command that Jesus gives us after telling us that we have to follow him, and our public display that the old person is gone and a new person in Christ has been born, so we take it seriously at our church.  Last night more than 10 students came forward to be baptized.

As if that wasn't amazing enough, the outpouring of the spirit of God was absolutely amazing during this time.  Every student in attendance last night gathered around the baptismal pool to support their friends who were following through in baptism.  They were climbing on chairs and on the stage to be able to see their friends.  They cheered for each other and encouraged each other as they took this step in their relationship with God.  And then as the last few students were being baptized, we began to sing praise songs.  You could literally feel God moving in everyone's heart.

As I stood on a chair so I could see the whole thing and we began to sing, I realized that my life is finally exactly what God intended it to be.  I am married to the love of my life, I have an incredible family, I have great friends, a job that I love, and I get the extreme honor of helping the teenagers in my church grow in their walk with God.  If you had told me 6 years ago (while I was probably dancing on a table at a party), that last night I would be standing on a chair with arms outstretched singing praises to the Lord and celebrating the salvation of teenagers I would've told you that you were insane.  I have been to my fair share of parties and I have been drunk more times than any person should ever be, but NOTHING COMPARES to the feeling that I got last night when God turned my heart inside out in the auditorium at New Season Church.  I pray that everyone gets to experience something that amazing at least once in their life.  It was truly a miracle!  Here are just a few photos of this awesome night!

Pioneer

It's no secret that everyone while come across situation in life that test our faith.  It is different for every person.  Sometimes it is a one time situation that pushes us to the breaking point.  Other times it is an ongoing struggle that tests us on a daily basis and makes us question everything we believe in.  It pushes our faith the outermost limits and makes us wonder if we will ever overcome this particular situation.

This week my church started a series called "Dark Horse" that follows the life of David and how, against all the odds, he overcame Goliath.  Today's sermon got me thinking and I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you.  First of all, if you don't know the story of David you can check it out in the book of 1 Samuel, starting in chapter 16.  The gist of the story is that David, even though he was young and small and untrained, went up against Goliath (a giant) and overcame this giant by trusting in the Lord. 1 Samuel 17:45 says, "Then David said to the Philistine, 'You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.'"  If you take this verse, and David's situation in general, and apply it to your own life you will see that none of us are very different from David.  We all have our struggles, our personal "giants" if you will.

You are probably well aware of your giant, and you can probably see very clearly how your giant is impacting your life.  You may feel  like their is no hope for overcoming this giant, but God can do incredible things if you put your faith in Him instead of in the ways of the world.  In John 16:33 Jesus tells us, "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."  This verse has given me so much peace and comfort in many situation in life.  Whether it be the death of a loved one, a struggle with addiction, or our current journey through infertility treatments.  God never promised us that life would be easy, but he did promise that he would be with us through it all (Deut. 31:8 "...He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you").  There will be a lot of people in this world who do not believe in you, or who are betting on you to fail.  The most important thing you can do is to pray diligently about your situation and remember that God is with you and that he can overcome anything.

If you're anything like me, one thing that always speaks to me is music.  I feel closest to God when I am praising Him through music.  Sometimes I will find a song that helps me through certain situations.  This song is the one that has helped me the most recently.  It is called "Pioneer" and the message is that everyone takes their own path and God is the one that goes before us and prepares the way.  No matter how rocky the path, God is preparing you for something incredible.  Today my pastor said, "Sometimes God allows the odds to be so stacked against you because he is setting you up for an unbelievable miracle."  NEVER EVER give up on God.  Even when the path is rough and you feel like you'll never make it.  He will prepare the way and he will overcome the odds and give you exactly the miracle you need.

Here is the link to the song if you would like to hear it.  (Rick Pino - Pioneer)

I am also including a link to the video sermons from my church.  (New Season Church - The Odd Thing About Odds) You should be able to watch today's sermon sometime tomorrow, and I encourage you to do it and to get in your Bible and find verses that will help you in facing your giant.

Reality Check

I can't believe that summer is almost over and it is almost time to go back to another school year.  This will start my 4th year of teaching.  It seems like such a small number of years, but at the same time, I feel like I've been teaching forever.  I still have almost two weeks of summer left, but it is flying by!  Before I know it, I will be back for pre-planning.  While I hate the longer work days and furloughs that come with a shortened school calendar, I am so thankful for two extra weeks to spend with my sweet husband.  The school years are so hard with our opposite schedules.  I am loving all the time together during the day.  It will be so hard to be away from him.

That being said...I have been getting anxious to get back in my classroom.  I've gotten up there a couple of times already and definitely need to spend at least one more whole day in there if I have any hope of being ready for the first day of school.  Which brings me to my real point...I get so tired of hearing comments like, "Man it must be nice not to work for three months" and "I wish I got off work at 3:30 every day."  Every time I hear people say this mess I want to respond with "Yeah, how many teachers do you know that do NOTHING for their job all summer" or "Tell me the job I can get that lets me out at 3:30 everyday."  I understand that technically I don't have to go in to work Monday through Friday all year round, but that does not mean that I sit around doing nothing all summer.  I (and most other teachers) spend our summers getting ready to teach subjects or grade levels that are being thrown at us for the first time because of teacher shortages.  We spend countless hours in graduate school getting higher degrees so that we can afford to live off the lousy penance that we get paid for being teacher, counselor, friend, disciplinarian, and sometimes PARENT.  We go to professional development seminars to keep our certificates valid and work in our classrooms on our "off" days so that we can be prepared to provide the education that is demanded of us despite shortened school calendars, furlough days, lack of resources, etc. etc. etc...  And if you can show me a high school teacher that is off work by 3:30 everyday, I'd be willing to bet that teacher probably leaves a lot to be desired in terms of their dedication to the kids.

Regardless of all those things, my main response to people who so ignorantly make claims such as the ones I mentioned before, is that I CHOSE my career just like YOU CHOSE yours.  Yes, its nice to get to sleep in during the summer and at holidays, but it is not without its price.  I've been in college for the better part of decade to have the "luxury" of this career.  I come home from work most days worried sick about kids whose parents could care less about their future, who might be going hungry, or might be getting abused.  I take every circumstance of every child to heart and bring that home to my family at night.  I would be willing to bet that all the best teachers do the same thing.  If we weren't off at holidays and in the summer, we would be even crazier than you all accuse us of being when you find out that, God forbid, we chose to be teachers.  So as a favor to us all, please remember this the next time you want to tell a teacher how great he/she has it just because we are "off" in the summer.

Life Changing Day

For the past couple of months I have been DYING for my church band to sing "Because He Lives."  It is one of my favorite old hymns and it always touches my heart whenever I hear it.  Every Sunday I stood during praise & worship and hoped that they would sing my song, and every Sunday I was just a little disappointed because they never sang it.  Today right in the middle of a really upbeat song the band breaks into the chorus of my song!  In case you don't know it, here's how it goes..

• Because He lives I can face tomorrow.  Because He lives all fear is gone.  Because I know he holds the future, life is worth living just because he lives.

Now, every time I hear this song it instantly makes me cry.  Some people think that is crazy, but all I can tell you is that the fact that Jesus was crucified for ME (and you) and was buried and rose again to live is the most overwhelming truth I have ever experienced.  I have said many times that if your love for God and your relationship with Him does not tear you up inside with every emotion you can imagine, then I think you're truly missing out on the most beautiful relationship you could ever imagine.  For that reason, "Because He Lives" tears me up inside, and I will continue to sing it at the top of my lungs and raise my hands in praise and CRY OUT in praise to Him!

SO...they finally sang my song and I was so pumped up that I couldn't wait to hear the message.  I open my bulletin and the title of the sermon for today was "Let's Get Drunk."  Of course, this catches my attention and when I open my Bible to the verses for today I was completely taken off guard.  The verses were Ephesians 5:18-19 - "And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord."  Talk about having all the air knocked right out of you...I could barely breathe.  There have been so many times that I have said things like "It's ok to drink as long as it doesn't control my life." and "There's a difference in a glass of wine at dinner and a blackout drunk."  When I read those verses today I realized that there really is no difference at all.  The Bible says drunkeness is a fruit of the flesh that people who sew fruits of the flesh will not enter the kingdom of Heaven.  Let me say this, I know that there is something amazing waiting for me on the other side of this life.  I'm going to be in Heaven with Jesus and all my loved ones that know Him, and there isn't a drink of anything on this planet that I would let keep me from that.  So I'm proud to say that on July 4, 2012 (although I didn't know it at the time) I took my LAST drink of alcohol.

 My preacher talked today about how drunk people are consumed by the alcohol.  That is changes how they speak, walk, think, act, etc. because it has filled their body and their mind.  He also talked about how if we will let go of the things that are holding us back from being filled with the Spirit of God then we will speak, and walk and think and act differently because our entire lives will be about Jesus and bringing others to Him.    I know a lot of you that will read this will think I'm not capable of NEVER drinking alcohol again because many of you met me at parties or bars when I was out of my mind drunk.  I know that the reputation I created for myself as a teenage and young adult alcoholic may lead some of you to believe that this is just a phase I am going through and I will get over it.  I know others of you may not want to hang out with me or be around me because you think I can't possibly be fun if we aren't getting drunk together.  Although this makes me extremely sad, I have to say that I am doing what is right for me and the people who really love me will support me in this.  It is going to be difficult at times, and I will need you to pray for me and tell me that I can do it.

I want to finish by saying that I am not writing this to condemn those of you who drink alcohol.  I believe you have to make the decision about whether or not the things you do separate you from a relationship with God.  For me, drinking was the thing I was holding onto, and I have to let go of it regardless of the consequences on my social life so that I can be secure in my spiritual life.  I love you all and I pray that you can take something from this that helps you understand where I'm coming from and where I'm trying to go.

Slacker

You know...when I started this blog I had every intention of posting in it regularly and sharing things that have been happening in my life, etc.  Then life actually happened and I forgot all about this thing.  I really do want to post in it more often and I'm going to make a conscious effort to keep it updated.  So here's what has been going on in my world since my last post in October.

• In December 2011, Joe's grandmother Linda passed away.  She fought a long battle with lung, breast, and brain cancer.  She surpassed all of our expectations and the expectations of the doctors by making more than 18 months after her initial diagnosis.  It was very sad to lose her, but I am so thankful that she is not suffering anymore.  Please continue to pray for the Morse family as they go on with their lives without this amazing woman.
• That same month, I graduated with my Master's degree in Accomplished Teaching, with a focus in Curriculum and Instruction.  I managed to finish a 3 year program in 18 months with a PERFECT 4.0 GPA.  Not to brag or anything, but I'm pretty proud of this.  Like a crazy person, I jumped straight into my Educational Specialist degree in January.  I am attending Liberty University for this.  I am really loving the Christian focus of this school and how all the material is tied to placing the focus on God in my career, my classroom, and my life in general.  It has made the work much more meaningful.  I should be finished with this degree by the end of next summer, and then I am FINISHED chasing degrees for a while.  I'll be happy to have all that behind me and to be able to focus on my family and friends more often.
• Joe and I are still considering our options for starting a family of our own.  I can't explain to you how much I want a baby, and I think he does too now that his friends are starting to have babies.  This process has been going on for almost two years now, and there are times when I feel overwhelmed.  We had almost made our minds up about IVF, but we have come to realize that it might not be financially possible for us to make our family that way.  We are by no means giving up!  In fact, my faith in God is so strong that I know he would not give me the desire to be a mother and not help that come true.  There is another option that we are considering right now, and this looks like it might be on track to work out.  With that being said, I ask that you pray that God will lead us in the right direction as we continue to work to start our family.  
• I have continued to get more involved in my church and have become an official member of New Season Church.  Last week I volunteered at Vacation Bible School working with the Kindergarten and 1st graders.  WOW!!!!  Those kids have more energy than 15 high school kids.  I loved every minute of it, but I definitely don't have it in me to do that all day everyday.  I am also starting to get more involved in other areas throughout the church.  I do not say this to blow my own horn, but to testify to the fact that when you find the place that God intended for you to be, you are so compelled to serve Him by serving others.  I am so inspired by the ministry that takes place at this church that I can't help but want to be a part of it.  Every Sunday I watch people come forward and accept Jesus as their savior and I want to be a part of that.  I also feel like God is leading me in a direction within this church.  I am not 100% sure what it is yet, but I know for sure he has something big in store for me here.  I can't wait to see what it is!  I know that he will continue to bless me as I grow in this ministry.
• My baby sister is growing like a weed and I am more in love with her all the time.  She turned 1 on June 10th.  I can hardly believe that she's been with us for a year, but I can't imagine a day without her.  I love how much she smiles and laughs and plays and loves.  I'm happy to report (though other people might not like it when they want to hold her) that when I'm around she doesn't want anyone but me.  It makes me so happy!  Every morning I "facetime" with her.  She "talks" and tries to figure out how I'm in the phone and I get to watch her play and start her day.  Its one of my most favorite things to do!

I think that is all the major stuff right now....I am going to start incorporating my Bible study into this blog once I get my thoughts organized and figure out how I want to approach it.  Be looking for that to start by the end of the week. 

Share Your Faith

Wow...it has been a minute since my last post.  Work and school and life have been so busy that I've barely had a spare moment to even think about blogging.  One thing that has been going on is that I have been getting more active in our church.  On Wednesday nights we have Bible study & disciple training and I have really been enjoying that...which is actually the purpose of this blog entry.  Our current disciple training has been about learning to share our faith and we have all be given the challenge to share our story of coming to know Jesus with someone.  I thought this would be a great way to do it because so many people would have the opportunity to hear the story of how Jesus changed my life.  Please feel free to comment and share your story.  I'd really love to hear it!  So here it goes...

As a little girl my family always went to church.  When I was 8 years old I got "saved".  Looking back, I don't think I really knew the importance of that or understood what a life-changing event it would be.  At 16 I rededicated my life to the Lord and was excited about sharing that with my friends and family.  I was on fire for God for a while, but like most teenagers, peer pressure to be "cool" led me down an entirely different path.  When I started college I immediately starting partying all the time.  There were very few nights that me and my friends weren't drunk somewhere.  Two months before my 21st birthday my grandfather died.  He was the most important person in my life and losing him was like having all the wind knocked out of me...except it knocked the faith right out of me.  I didn't care about God because I didn't believe that he cared about me.  He took away my hero afterall.  The next few years were a blur.  I was spinning out of control and my priorities got way out of order. 

In 2007 I met Joe and immediately things started to change.  I could see a life with him.  I could see our wedding, our future children, every moment of the rest of our lives would play in my mind on a daily basis, but one thing was missing....God.  As our relationship progressed I realized that Joe was the man I was going to spend my life with and that I wanted God to be a part of that.  We talked about going to church, but never went.  For a few months in 2010 we went to my dad's church in Cartersville then issues came up that made me question God and we stopped going.  For a while I was mad at God for what happened, but one day I realized that I needed God to get through hard times like that one. 

In April of 2011 we attended New Season Church for the first time.  That day it was like everything the preacher said spoke directly to me.  I realized that God really does love me, that he took every mistake I ever made and I ever will make and placed it on Jesus.  That the hard times I go through are meant to strengthen my faith in him.  On our first visit to New Season Church I prayed that God would come live in my heart.  This is the first time in my life that I feel like I prayed that prayer and really understood the magnitude of truly trusting Jesus as my lord and savior.  Since that day I have had a new perspective on life.  I know that I am going to have stuggles, but now I see that every struggle and every hardship is an opportunity for me to glorify God.  I am so thankful everyday that I serve a God that loved me enough to give up his only son for me.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that one day I'll be in Heaven with my friends and family who know Jesus as their savior, and I want so badly for every person to have that same confidence in their salvation.  Life can be so hard, but knowing that I can call on Jesus gives me hope.

So that's my story.  I don't know if it will touch any of your lives, but I desperately hope it will.  I encourage you to find a church where you feel comfortable, read the Bible, PRAY!!!!  It will have an incredible impact on your life.